Emphasize the positive aspects, such as the important role he or she will play as a big brother or sister.
All sorts of questions arise: How do we tell our children they're having a little brother or sister? Will they be jealous of the newborn? How can we help them get along?
Children react differently depending on their age.
Knowing what to expect for each age group will make it easier to manage changes in your family.
Toddlers - 1 to 2 years old
Children this age won't understand much about what it means to have a new brother or sister. However, let your child hear you talk about the "new baby" and feel your excitement. They may not understand why you're excited, but your attitude will rub off on them, and they'll feel excited too.
Keep in mind that you may not be able to meet the needs of both children all the time, especially not on your own. If you feel overwhelmed, ask your partner, other family members, or friends for support and extra support.
Look at pictures or videos of babies. At the very least, your child will become familiar with words like "sister," "brother," and "baby."
When the baby arrives, try to do something special for your older child. Reassure them that they are still loved. For example, give them a special gift, let them spend time alone with their father, grandmother, or another close adult, take them somewhere special, etc.
Preschoolers - 2 to 4 years old
At this age, your child is still very attached to you and doesn't yet understand how to share you with others. They may also be very sensitive to change and feel threatened by the idea of a new family member. Here are some suggestions that can help your preschooler become a big brother or sister.
Wait a while before telling your older child about the baby. Explain when you start buying baby furniture or clothes, or if they start asking questions about Mom's growing "belly." Children's picture books can be very helpful. So can classes for siblings (ask your maternity ward or midwife if they offer them). Try to tell your child the news before they hear it from someone else.
Be honest. Explain that the baby will be cute and cuddly, but they will also cry and require a lot of your time and attention. Also, make sure your older child knows that it may be a while before they can play with the baby. Reassure your child that you will love them just as much after the baby is born.
Involve your older child in preparing for the baby. This will help reduce their jealousy. Let them shop with you for baby items. Show them their own baby photos, as well as items you chose together, such as your diaper bag , and ask their opinion on the color. If you plan to use some of their old baby items, let them play with them a bit before preparing them for the new baby. Buy your child (boy or girl) a doll so they can take care of "their" baby.
Plan for major changes in your child's routine. If possible, complete potty training or transitioning from crib to bed before the baby arrives. If not, postpone these changes until the baby is settled in at home. Otherwise, your child may feel overwhelmed by learning new things on top of all the changes caused by the baby.
Expect your child to regress a little. For example, your child who knows how to go to the bathroom might suddenly have accidents or want to take a bottle. This is normal and is your older child's way of ensuring they still have your love and attention. Instead of telling them to act like a child their own age, give them the attention they need. Praise them when they act like a grown-up.
Prepare him for your departure to the maternity ward. He may be disoriented when you leave for the hospital. Explain to him that you will be back with the baby in a few days.
Set aside special moments with your older child. Read, play, listen to music, or simply talk together. Show them that you love them and want to do things with them. Also, make them feel part of your life by having them snuggle up to you while you feed your baby.
Ask your family and friends to spend some time with your older child when they come to see the baby. This will help them feel special and not be left out of all the excitement. They can also give them a small gift when they bring gifts for the baby.
Ask your older child to spend time with their dad. A new baby is a great opportunity for dads to spend time alone with their children.
School-aged children - 5 years and older
Children over 5 are generally not as affected by the arrival of a new baby. However, they may resent the attention the new baby receives. To prepare your child for the arrival of a new baby,
Explain what's happening to him in language he can understand. Explain what the arrival of a new baby means and what changes may affect him, both good and bad.
Ask your older child to help prepare for the upcoming baby by setting up the nursery, choosing clothes, or buying diapers.
If possible, have your older child come to the maternity ward soon after the baby is born so they feel part of the growing family.
When the new baby arrives home , make your older child feel they have a role to play in caring for the baby. Tell them they can hold the baby, but they must ask you first. Praise them when they are gentle and affectionate with the baby.
Don't neglect your older child's needs and activities . Let them know how much you love them. Make an effort to spend some time alone with them every day; take this opportunity to remind them how special they are.
